When Was The Last Time

When was the last time I’ve seen their faces? When was the last time I’ve heard their voices. When was the last time I dined with them? When was the last time I’ve embraced, kissed and told her how much I love them?

There are so much things going on in my mind, so much questions that need answers. Simple questions that you thought you have the ready answers but wait until you put the emotions into the equation. You would then realize how complicated the simple questions as what you have thought.

You relied with the advancement of technology in the areas of communications, mobile, internet, and others, as a relief to fill the void inside of you. Anxiously waiting for the day that you thought you can devote for them to reconnect. The day comes only to find out they don’t even blink in your radar screen and you start asking and telling yourself, “Did they ever missed me?”, “Did they ever realize that I am away?”, "Did they ever thought about me when they are in laughters?" or worst “Being away from them doesn’t make any difference anymore”.

So frustrated, depressed and disheartened. But still they don’t understand your frustrations. What they see only is your frustrations, but not the cause of your frustrations.

I don’t want to entertain the thought that they have grown and used to with my absence. This has been the case as I have spent four-fifths of my family life away from them. You may call it a denial… But that’s the only way I know, for at least in my thoughts someone’s waiting for me, someone is missing and longing for my presence.

Then I can tell myself, I will see their faces again, I will hear their voices again, I will dine with them again, I will embrace, kiss and tell how much I love them again….face to face.