For The Nth Times

If plans had pushed through, by now I should be now in the Philippines with my family, visiting friends and relatives. Unfortunately, four days before my booked flight to Singapore I was asked to postpone my vacation for another six weeks. For the nth times, my vacation was put on hold.

I’ve been planning to have my vacation since March 2009, to catch up with my kids that I haven’t been with for more than a year now. The last time I was with them was in April 2008. Except for Jae, our first daughter, which I spent a week with her in Singapore in October 2008 when she dropped by to register for her Identification Card (IC).

My March plan did not push through because my wife had decided to stay and continue with her work. Our plan was for her to join me in my return to Doha. Since she decided to stay with her work, we agreed that I will just catch up with our kids school break in late April or May.

My kids’ school breaks usual starts in the first week of April and they normally join their mother in Singapore to spend their school break. This was the plan, for me to join them before they go back to school.

I and my wife were planning to treat the kids for a weekend get away to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, a one-day tour to Johor Bahru or a weekend cruise. Everything has been put on plan and anxiously waiting for it to happen, that will start to be realized once I board the plane out from Doha to join my family.

Things had come to another snag in the middle part of April. Our illustrious Executive Project Director has issued a memo, cancelling all leaves until our project is completed. At that time my leave was already approved, I was supposed to take my leave from May 22, but with the EPD memo it became bleak like a monsoon rain clouds.

I tried to talk to our Project Manager and explained to him how important for me to go home as planned as I am catching up with my kids. Once they go back to school, I can only able to spend with them evenings during my break. Of course our PM understands, but he was overruled.

Why is it that when you plan something, most likely than not, it won’t never happen. But things that aren’t planned happens. Life is so impromptu.

I had devised a plan to get my leave re-approved which I successfully maneuvered and bargained with the EPD which I already mentioned in my other post. I applied sixteen days and was cut down to ten days starting from June 5. I said at least I can have a week with my kids before they go back to school.

Hurdles after another hurdles came my way, this time I postpone again my leave from June 26 to July 7 due to financial difficulty. I am no longer able to catch up with my kids’ school break. I will just content myself and make the most of quality time I can have with them once my leave starts.

June 22, 2009 for the nth times, four days before I board that plane out from here, I was asked to postpone my leave, again. Due to some urgent works that our company has decided to work on internally, three of us were asked to postpone our vacations and finish the job.

We understand how important our new assignment for the project as a whole, and no other staffs are able to deliver except the three of us with some guidance from Head Office Management, we have no choice.

Coincidentally, the three of us are scheduled for a vacation and all that was thrown away to the drain. As a motivation though, we were promised for a weekend get away to an undisclosed location. This is what I worry, if things are planned, it won’t happen. We will see if the bosses will deliver their promise or it will just evaporates just like a puddle of water under the Arabian sun.

My re-scheduled vacation now will be from August 7 to 17. I only wish my kids will let these delays come to pass and will not hold me too guilty for not having time with. I wish that they will realize why I am away in the first place. And I wish I will have the time to make up with them and promise them for the last time, “I will be home”.

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Father's Day... Have I Been A Good Father

Tomorrow the world celebrates what they call “Father’s Day”. I ask myself, do I deserve a Father’s Day…. Have I been a good father to deserve a Father’s Day? Sighs!!!... Maybe it is wise to look back if I’ve been a good father.

I can’t remember much about my children when they were young. Except that I have looked after my eldest when he was still a baby and I was attending school. After I joined the work force, I unconsciously started to drift away from my children.

I loved the idea of coming home and having them sit on my lap and horsing around. Unfortunately, I only come home on weekends and not to mention late at night that I was only able to kiss them good-night after they had gone to sleep and only to leave before they wake up.

When my children aged 3, 2 and 6 months old, I moved farther away from them, just the ages when their daddy means everything to them. I wished that I could have spent more time with my children but I was too busy working and coping to provide. After all, I wanted to give them all the things I never had when I was growing up.

Little did I know that they had grown up. I missed seeing them in school plays, pinning their ribbons and putting on their medals. Everyone said they were intelligent and independent which I content myself keeping the pride in my heart. The kids never complained, but I could see the disappointment in their eyes. I kept promising that I would have more time "next year.", that “next year” will be my turn to pin those ribbons, But as our needs increases, the less time there seemed to be.

Suddenly they were no longer twelve, eleven and nine. They were fourteen, fifteen and seventeen, Teenagers. And I am still stuck in the rat race. I am beginning to worry that I won’t see my daughters the night they go out on their first dates or my son's joining the National Service. I know my wife will be there to patch up stories for my excuse. And they will say they understand, but I would hear their disappointment in their voices.

Few more years, those little kids are eighteen, nineteen and twenty-one in their university. My job will be less demanding and I will finally have time for them. But they will have their own interests and there is no time for me. To be perfectly honest, that would hurt me immeasurably and all the regrets in my life put together cannot compare to that final regret.

It seems like yesterday that they were four, five and seven. But they are gone now, and so is my chance to be a real dad.

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Seven Longest Days

I can’t wait for that day to come. From today, my countdown begins. Seven longest days, before I am again with my wife. It was November 13, 2008 the last time I was with her when she sees me to the airport on my departure back to Doha, that was 218 days ago. Seven days from now, I am back to her embrace. Seven Longest Days…

What’s makes it more special this time is that she will be joining me in my return to Doha after my short break. Oh my… no wonder why the days keeps dragging and I feel that it seems it is in a standstill. Seven Longest Days, is just what I have to countdown but I wish I can just push the “next” button and there you are its Friday again.

After almost 2 years of persuasion and endless phone calls, video calls, chats whatever means the present technology can offer, she said YES… Nuh!!! Not that big “Will you marry me?” question like Mar Roxas recently did. But more than that, my wife said YES, she will be joining here in Doha.

The plan now is that she will be joining me in my return under a visit visa. Once she is here in Doha, we will be processing her Resident Permit (RP). Inshallah, as the locals says, she will have her RP and I can have my wife.
Frankly, it is so important for me for her to be with me. We’ve been married for eighteen (18) long years, but we’ve been away from each other most of the time. Maybe this time, I hope I can make-up for the lost time. She has her own sacrifices for our family that I am forever thankful. It would be much more meaningful to express my gratitude when she is by my side. If only I have means to let her live like a princess, I will be grateful to be her servant.

For now, I will still be counting down from seven. Seven Longest Days is just what I have to burn away.

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Visa Application

I have heard unfortunate stories about applying for a visa to Qatar. Visa application to some is a challenge, not to mention the rudeness of the personnel behind the counter add to that if you don’t know any letter in the Arabic alphabet much more to understand an Arabic word.

Disorderliness, rudeness, lack of courtesy, unprofessionalism and other negative adjective that you can think of, is what I was expecting when I went to the Airport Visa Office to apply for my wife’s visa.

But to my surprise, except the overwhelming Arabic signs, notices and posters, the staff behind the counter was very accommodating and helpful. Frankly, I was expecting a grumpy faced local trying to bully a foreigner but I experienced a total contrast to what I have been hearing above government employees.

It only took me less than ten minutes to go-in and go-out with my visa application sorted. I only spent QAR 100 for my visa application. The officer actually looks for my salary certificate but I just told him that I did not bring such certificate. He did not insist but only asked me how much my salary is. He took my word and processed my visa application.

I did not expect how smooth that would be. Even my colleague, was really surprised that she thought she should have arranged by herself her mother’s visa. She actually asked our admin to assist her with her mother’s visa and she paid QAR 250 as “processing fee”.

This is actually my first time to transact with government authorities here in Qatar. Thankfully, my wife’s visa application is a breeze.

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Wedding Anniversary

Today is our 18th Wedding Anniversary. And the nth time we spent our anniversary miles apart. I can’t even remember the last time we were with each other celebrating momentous occasion like this.

It could have been more meaningful if we are on each others arms telling her how much I love her. This time I would just content myself reminiscing how we found each other by reading our daughter’s essay she submitted in her class when they were asked to write about how their parents met.


MY PARENTS
By: Jae*********


My parents first met when they were in 2nd Grade. But neither one of them knew each other; they only found out that they were classmates then when they were already dating. My father transferred to other school in Kalinga-Apayao when he reach 3rd Grade, my mother continue to finished primary school at the school they first met.

When they reached high school my father came back to La Union and once again they were classmates from 1st year, but then again, they haven’t noticed each other. As my father relates, that time my mother was a “dark”, boyish and had a childish manner. On the other hand, my mother relates that he already noticed my father as an intelligent boy, “payatot” and nothing special.

My father continues that he began to notice my mother and started having special feeling towards her when they were in the 2nd year. Young as he was, he does not have the courage to express his feelings to her. And he sorted to expressing his feeling through letters to her. He asked his friend to give his anonymous letters to her hoping that she will write back. One letter, two, three, four letters had gone and no replies. When suddenly, he received a reply, he was so happy.

And then he continues to write, little did he knew, that his friend that he was sending his letter through have also a special feelings to my mother. My father did not know, that before his friend hands the letter to her, he reads it first, with his other friends. That started the teasing to both of them from the whole campus. The embarrassment and the teasing made them distant from each other. As long as there is a way to avoid each other, they will, just to avoid the teasing.

Years had past and this had been their way. Although, my mother confides that she already had a special feelings to him but she kept it inside. Until they graduated in high school, they never talked. They parted their ways without goodbyes. He studied in Baguio, she studied in Manila. Although, they are miles apart, they confide that they are thinking each other despite the fact that they don’t have any understanding, just a special feelings that they kept inside.

When he learned that she came back to La Union, he started sending her flowers. He would ask my aunt, his younger sister, to bring his flowers from Baguio to La Union every weekend as he was not able to do so because of his studies. But first, my aunt will give the flowers to a common friend of my parents. Then the common friend will give the flowers to my mother.

The funny thing was that the whole town thought that my aunt was courting this common friend and the common friend was courting my mother.

And so, before things get complicated, he summoned all his courage to talk to her. Then he did talk to her. It took him sometime before she said yes, that was December 26, 1990. My parents have proven to themselves the saying that “when you love somebody, set them free, if they return, (hindi ko na alam ang katuloy)..

But that was not the happy ending just yet, but just the beginning of longer struggles. They married early and this had been their resentment to this day. Have they waited for awhile, their life would have been easier than today.

But then, true love, understanding and respect have been their tools in resolving and overcoming their struggles in life. Communication has been helpful for them to continuously win small battles in life, one step at a time to win the challenges in life.

Today, they shared us their story for us to learn from mistakes that they may have made. For us not to repeat the mistakes they were into. They serve as our guide, to clear our path so that ours may not as bumpy as they had.

The end

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